Dirty Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why do women fake orgasms?
→ Because men fake foreplay.

There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch.

The first woman said:

- My husband can get his whole hand up me.

The second lady said:

- My husband can get his whole head up me.

The third lady slid down the bar stool.

What did the dumb blond say to the large breasted waitress after reading her name tag?
→ What did you name the other one!!

When you go to the hospital how do you find the head nurse?
→ Look for the nurse with dirty knees and swollen lips!

The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss

What is the difference between a Slut and a Bitch?
→ A Slut sleeps with everyone, a bitch sleeps with everyone but you!

A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. When he arrives home, he tells his wife about the purchase he's just made.

- Olympic condoms? - she blurts - What makes them so special?

- There are three colors - he explains - gold, silver and bronze.

- So what color are you gonna wear tonight? - she asks with a grin.

- Gold of course - says the proud man.

The wife responds:

- Why don't you wear silver -- it would be nice if you came second for a change!

What do you call a villager with 500 girlfriends?
→ A shepherd.

Seems that the traveling salesman was driving in the country and his car broke down. He hiked several miles to a farm house, and asked the farmer if there was a place he could stay over night:

- Sure - said the farmer - my wife died several years ago, and my two daughters are 21 and 23 but they're off to college, and I'm all by my self, so I have lots of room to put you up.

Hearing this, the salesman turned around and started walking back towards the highway, and the farmer called after him....

- Didn't you hear what I said? I have lots of room.

- I heard you - said the salesman - but I think I'm in the wrong joke.

What was the First Commandment?
→ "Adam, eat my pussy."