Computer Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do vampires put at the bottom of their e-mails?
→ Best viscious.

- Pupil: Sir, would you mind e-mailing my exam results to my parents?

- Teacher: But your parents don't have a computer.

- Pupil: Exactly!

- Have you seen www.brokenglass.com?

- Yes, but it's not all it's cracked up to be.

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. They have a machine that does that now.

- Have you seen www.busfull.com?

- No, I'm afraid that one passed me by.

Difference Between A Computer And A Woman:
→ A computer will not laugh at a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.

Through infinite myst, software reverberates
In code possess'd of invisible folly.

Wilt thou dare interface
With thy Apple Macintosh keypad
By toggling my tweaky bosom?

Alack!

Leave laserjet laughter to the laptop lover.

Behold beta beauty in a keyboard's keen kindness.

Now yet torment thy melancholy hardware
By always vexing the amorous flame
Of thine model motherboard.

This tyrant widget conceals scuzzy games
And pleasure treasured dear:
Then kiss me.

Celestial evil's idolatrous template within AOL
Will deceive some cybersex users
And email "cancel our service."

Tis a rare tongue
That many maiden bugs command,
Revealing bounteous distress,
Trashing bold memory:
Click and crash gloriously.

Weep not, beauteous Microsoft!

Hereafter reboot.

What do you call a ghost on the Internet?
→ e-erie.

Where is Pinocchio's website?
→ On the splinternet.

Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 11 years on a book about Swedish economic solutions.
He took the 175-page manuscript to be copied, only to have it reduced to 25,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker confused the copier with the shredder.