Computer Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Have you seen www.boomerang.com?

- Yes, I return to it again and again.

- Have you seen www.amnesia.com?

- Sorry, I just can't remember.

What's hairy, dangerous and only surfs the Net when there's a full moon?
→ The www.erewolf.

What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet?
→ P.Cs of eight, P.Cs of eight.

- Does your mum like shopping on the Internet?

- No, the trolley keeps rolling off the top of the computer.

Idiocy in the Computer World

When I worked for a company that had a contract with 3M, 3M had asked me to write them a memo describing why we were having problems with diskette failures. I said in the memo that the disks were failing due to head crashes. "If the customers would just clean their heads periodically, we wouldn't have these problems," I said in the memo. One customer responded with "What kind of shampoo do you recommend?"

An end-user hotline received a call about a bad software disk. They asked the customer to make a copy of the disk and mail it in to the hotline. A few days later, they received a letter with a mimeographed copy of the disk. Since it was a double-sided disk, both sides of the disk had been Xeroxed.

A Computer Operator says as she is lifting an RP06 disk pack from the drive: "Gee, how much does one of these weigh?"

Me: "It depends on how much data is on the disk."

The operator believed it.

I had a similar experience while working as a student operator at Michigan Tech. One particularly trying afternoon, the computer was merrily crashing for a number of reasons. After about four such spectacles, we broadcast that the computer would be down for the remainder of the afternoon. There was a resigned groan from the users and they began to file out of the Center, except for one comely young woman with wide blue eyes who wandered up to the counter and queried: "What's wrong with the computer?"

Too tired and irritated to give her a straight answer, I looked her straight in the eye and replied: "Broken muffler belt."

A look of deep concern wafted into her expression as she asked: "Oh, that's bad. Can you call Midas?"

A few excerpts from the Computer Help Desk:

- Caller: What's the name for when you're entering data into the computer?

- HD: Data Entry.

- Caller: Thank you!

Overheard in a student computer lab:

- Client (raising hand and waving frantically): The computer says 'Enter your name and press RETURN.' What do I do??

- Lab Assistant: Enter your name and press RETURN.

- Client (as if a revelation has struck): Oh!

You have just received the "POLISH VIRUS!"

As we don't have any programming experience, this Virus works on the honor system.

Please delete all the files on your hard drive manually and forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.

Thanks for your cooperation.

- Did you like www.flower.com?

- Not at first....but it grew on me!

What grows on the World Wide Web and stings?
→ Internettles.

Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions.

The manager went to the first applicant and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to the other applicant."

"And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct," asked the rejected applicant.

"We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed," said the Department manager.

"And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" the rejected applicant inquired.

"Simple," said the Department manager...

"Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, 'I don't know.' You put down, 'Neither do I.'"