Addicted To AOL

You Might Be Addicted to AOL if...

  • Tech Support calls "You" for help
  • Someone at work tells you a joke and you say LOL
  • You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other
  • You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out"
  • You have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's
  • You've ever typed "drinking on AOL is better than drinking alone"
  • You have a vanity car tag with your screen name on it
  • You no longer type with proper punctuation, capitalization, or complete sentences
  • You begin to say heh heh heh instead of laughing
  • When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"
  • You sneak away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep
  • You know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own family's
  • You lie to others about your time on-line and when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook
  • You have an identity crisis if someone else is using an s/n close to your own
  • You would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (all night on-line)
  • You're broke, your modem burns out and you go out onto the streets to sell your body to get a new one
  • You marry your cyberboyfriend and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other every night from across the room
  • You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time
  • You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved
  • You sign on and immediately get 10 messages from people who have you on their buddy lists
  • You look at an annoying person off-line and wish you had your ignore button handy
  • You have withdrawls if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours
  • You use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one...hehehe)
  • Your buddy list has over 100 people on it
  • You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on-line before you have your first cup of coffee
  • You wait 6 hours online for a certain "special" person to sign on
  • You don't know where the time has gone
  • You end sentences with three (or more) periods while writing letters in pen/pencil
  • Your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you have had
  • You get up at 2am to go the bathroom but go turn on your computer instead
  • You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo
  • When you enter a room and 23 people greet you with {{{Hugs or Kisses
  • You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and lemme
  • Your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n and I will TTYL"
  • You type faster than you think
  • Being called a newbie is a MAJOR insult
  • You are on the phone for a minute and need to do something else you say "BRB" or "BBL"
  • You spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to everyone in a room
  • You've gone into an unstaffed tech support room and given tech support to other AOLers
  • You have to be pryed from your computer with the Jaws-of-Life
  • You meet people from AOL in public and have no idea what their real name is, so you call them by their screen name
  • Your last sexual experience was really just a "textual" experience
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