Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
→ A bird that talks in morse code!

What do you call a Scottish parrot?
→ A Macaw!

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?
→ Sleep on the sofa.

What medicine would you give an ill ant?
→ Antibiotics!

A neighbor of mine was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him scribbling furiously on a notepad.

I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about writing a will.

He said:

- Will, will,... WHAT WILL? I'm making a list of people I'm gonna bite!!

What was the name of the hog who was knighted by King Arthur?
→ Sir Lunchalot.

How do we know that Apes are like fish after a rainstorm?
→ They'll both bite at anything!

Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
→ If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.

What is an elephants favourite film?
→ Elephantasia

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
→ He heard the referee calling fowls