Relationships — best jokes

Why can't anyone stay angry long with an actress?
→ Because she always makes up.

Did you hear about the monster who sent his picture to a lonely hearts club?
→ They sent it back saying they weren't that lonely!

- Girl Monster 1: I hear you've met the perfect guy.

- Girl Monster 2: Oh yes, he's a bad dream come true!

A guy noticed that his buddy was troubled and asked what was wrong.

- Ohhh, it's my girlfriend.

- What's the problem?

- When I asked her if she could learn to love me, she asked me how much I was willing to spend on her education.

My sister fell in love at second sight. When she first met him she didn't know how rich he was.

Anytime you see a young man open a car door for his girlfriend, either the car is new or the girlfriend is.

Brian was dating Lorraine and they were very close. While they were dating he met another woman named Clearly and wanted to start dating her but felt that he should be faithful to Lorraine. So he continued to date Lorraine. One day Brian took Lorraine on a walk in the woods by the river. As they were walking near the river Lorraine fell in and was washed away. Brian softly sang, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine has gone..."

Men are like vacuum cleaners.
They're not much fun, but at least you get to push them around.

Men are like coffee.
The best ones are rich, hot and can keep you up all night.

What do you do if your bank account stops working?
→ Throw the guy out of the house.