Relationships — best jokes

What do you get if you cross a telephone and a marriage bureau?
→ A wedding ring!

Why is an engaged girl like a telephone?
→ Because they both have rings.

Harry was madly in love with Betty, but couldn't pluck up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone.

'Darling!' he blurted out, 'will you marry me?'

'Of course, I will, you silly boy,' she replied, 'who is it speaking?'

What happened when a man fell in love with a grand piano?
→ He said, "Darling, you've got lovely teeth."

"Your teeth are like the stars," he said,
As he pressed her hand, so white.
He spoke the truth, for, like the stars,
Her teeth came out at night!

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"

A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.

What do you call an affectionate rabbit?
→ A tender, loving hare.

- Rabbit: I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I'm all out of carrots. What should I do?

- Friend: Don't worry; be hoppy!

A police man was on duty one night and he headed up to "Make out Mountain" to try to catch some couples in the act.

When he got up there he stopped at the first car where a couple sat, and was surprised to see the man was reading and the girl next to him was knitting.

He tapped on the window and said he was with the police department then asked how old he was and the guy said, "I'm 22 sir." "Well how old is she?" the officer then asked.

Looking at his watch the guy replied, "She'll be 18 in about 6 minutes."