Political Jokes — best jokes

How many Labour Party members does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None. They haven't got a policy on that.

How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done.

How many believable, competent, "just right for the job" presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
→ None, they only screw the poor

How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.

How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional ammendment.
→ Only one. If he can handle 250000000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra lightbulb.

If the State of the Union is really "the best it's ever been"
Why do we "need" dozens of new government programs to fix it!

Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money", he demanded.
Indignant, the affluent man replied, "Hey, watch it - I'm a United States Congressman!"

"In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money."