Political Jokes — best jokes

When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine.
Democrats ask for a "Bud."

Democrats let their kids open all the gifts on Christmas Eve.
Republicans make their kids wait until Christmas morning.

Democrats get back at the Republicans on their Christmas list by giving them fruitcakes.
Republicans re-wrap them and send them to in-laws.

Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50, one buck at a time, to panhandlers on the street.

Republicans say "Merry Christmas!"

Democrats say "Happy Holidays!"

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill, as this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00, and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said:

Dear Lord, Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted $95.

Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: "Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you -- everyone in the US perhaps, but certainly not everyone in the world."

How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow?
→ By the wise look in the eyes.

Saddam Hussein calls President Clinton and tells him, "Bill, I had a wonderful dream last night. I could see America, the whole beautiful country, and on each house I saw a banner."

"What did it say on the banners?" Clinton asks.

Saddam replies, "Allah is god, god is Allah."

Clinton says, "You know, Saddam, I am really happy you called. Last night I had a similar dream. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was more beautiful than ever. It had been rebuilt completely, and on each house flew an enormous banner."

"What could you see on the banners?" Saddam asks.

Clinton replies, "I don't know. I can't read Hebrew."

What is the difference between Dan Quayle, Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda?
→ Jane Fonda went to Vietnam.