Ouch — best jokes

Here's a gross one:

What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and McDonalds?
→ They both stick their beef between 9 year old buns.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new car?
→ Neither has he.

What can Calista Flockhart do with dental floss?
→ Hang herself.

What's the first problem the MJ's child will have in life?
→ Figuring out which parent is his mother.

What would Elvis be doing if he were alive today?
→ Scratching like hell to get out of that box.

What does Kurt Cobain and Michaelangelo have in common?
→ They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.

Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
→ It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing"

What did O.J. say to Goldman when he found him with his ex-wife?
→ Hey pal, mind if I cut in?

Lady Di is welcomed at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. Peter asks: "Oh dear, what happened to you?" Di answers: "I died in a car crash, but wait till you see my friend, he looks much worse". Half an hour later Dodi shows up and St. Peter says: "My God, you look terrible."

Dodi replies: "This is nothing. Wait till you see my driver."

Half an hour later some bones and flesh move slowly to the Gates, and St. Peter says: "So you're the driver?"

"No, I'm Mother Theresa."

What's the difference between Elton John and Princess Diana?
→ One's composing, the other is decomposing.