Ouch — best jokes

Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?
→ Scared the hell out of the dog.

What do you call a dog with two balls and no hind legs?
→ Sparky

What does an elephant keep up its trunk?
→ A Yard 'n' half o' snot!

What do you call a dog with no legs?
→ Hehe...it doen't matter, it's not going to come anyway!

What has two legs, spots, and bleeds?
→ Half a cheetah.

For all animal lovers out there:

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?
→ Soak it in petrol, and set it on fire. and...

How do you make a dog go 'miaow'?
→ Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw...

What do you do with a dog with no legs?
→ Take it for a drag.

What has four legs and eight arms?
→ A pit-bull terrier at a children's play area.

A man takes his sick dog to the vet. The vet lifts the dog onto the operating table, looks down and says "Say ahhhhhhhhhhh!"

The man looks at the vet and says "The dog can't speak".

The vet says to the man "I was talking to YOU. The dog's dead!!!"

A man took his Rottweiler to the vet and said "My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "lets have a look at him." So he picks the dog up and has a good look at its eyes. "Hmm," says the vet, "I'm going to have to put him down" "Just because he's cross-eyed?" says the man. "No, because he's heavy," says the vet.