Language Jokes — best jokes

How do you make a Venetian blind?
→ Poke him in the eye

What kind of ghosts haunt operating theatres?
→ Surgical spirits.

- Doctor, doctor, I'm at death's door!

- Don't worry, Mrs Jenkins. An operation will soon pull you through.

A monster and a zombie went into the undertaker's. "I'd like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died," said the monster. "Certainly, sir," said the undertaker, "but there was really no need to bring him with you."

Did you hear about the undertaker who buried someone in the wrong place and was sacked for the grave mistake?

Why did the monster take a dead man for a drive in his car?
→ Because he was a car-case.

Did you hear about the two men who were cremated at the same time?
→ It was a dead heat.

Did you hear about the man who left his job at the mortuary?
→ It was a dead end job.

- First ghoul: You don't look too well today.

- Second ghoul: No, I'm dead on my feet.

Where do ghosts go for their holidays?
→ The Dead Sea.