Language Jokes — best jokes

What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker?
→ A rooster says cocka-doodle-doo a hooker says any cock will do.

- Papa, why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors?

- Because they are drawing-rooms, my son.

What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
→ Tooth Hurty!

At what time do most people go to the dentist?
→ At tooth-hurty (2:30).

When a knight in armour was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave?
→ Rust in peace!

Why did the cowboy die with his boots on?
→ Because he didn't want to stub his toe when he kicked the bucket!

What is posthumous work?
→ Something written by someone after they are dead!

What is the last thing you eat before you die?
→ You bite the dust.

- Vampire 1: I once went so long without fresh blood that I nearly died.

- Vampire 2: How awful!

- Vampire 1: Yes. Fortunately, I found some in the neck of time.

A monster and a zombie went into a funeral home:

- I'd like to order a coffin for a friend of mine who has just died - said the monster.

- Certainly ma'am - said the undertaker.

- but there was really no need to bring her with you.