Language Jokes — best jokes

- Wife: Do you think of me when you're away darling?

- Husband: Yes honey, I always bare you in mind.

A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. Her mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?" "Oh, Mum," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, Mum, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language...things I'd ever heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home.... Please Mum!"

"Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words?"

"Please don't make me tell you, Mum," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! Come get me, please!"

"Darling, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mum, they were words like dust, wash, iron, cook!"

What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?
→ LO

What letters are not in the alphabet?
→ The ones in the mail, of course!

Who does Dracula get letters from?
→ His fang club.

Where do ghosts mail their letters?
→ At the ghost office.

His girlfriend returned all his letters.
I bet she marked them "second class male!"

What do you call a Welshman who writes lots of letters?
→ Pen Gwyn!

Why do people leave letters at the football ground?
→ They want to catch the last goal-post!

What did the stamp say to the envelope?
→ "I've become attached to you."