Language Jokes — best jokes

When is a letter damp?
→ When it has postage due (dew).

What girl's name is like a letter?
→ Kay (K).

What letter is like a vegetable?
→ The letter P.

Why do postmen carry letters?
→ Because the letters can't go anywhere by themselves.

What does an envelope say when you lick it?
→ Nothing. It just shuts up.

Why did the witch's mail rattle?
→ It was a chain letter.

What word allows you to take away two letters and get one?
→ Stone.

- Teacher: Fred, give me a sentence starting with "I."

- Fred: I is . . .

- Teacher: No, Fred. You must always say "I am."

- Fred: Oh, right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

How did skeletons send each other letters in the days of the Wild West?
→ By Bony Express.

What did the werewolf write at the bottom of the letter?
→ Best vicious . . .