Random joke from this category
A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait.
"Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir?", he says.
The man goes into the bar and the bartender says, "What'll it be?"
The man replies, "Give me a Stoli with a twist."
The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and says, "Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . . "
Why can't Chinese Barbecue?
→ Because the rice falls through the grill
What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
→ An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you."
→ A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."
The three survivors of the shipwreck were being driven mad by hunger.
The Irishman, an expert navigator, told the others that if they could row the lifeboat for three more days they could make landfall.
The Pole, the ship's doctor, said that they could not possibly last that long, that there was only one solution to the problem and that one of them would have to sacrifice themselves for the good of the others.
The Englishman, the captain, said that he quite understood and that he would volunteer as he should have gone down with the ship anyway.
After saying an emotional farewell to his crewmen, the captain jumped overboard and sank without trace.
What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?
→ Reservations.
Why don't mexicans have barbeques?
→ The beans keep slipping through the grill.
A kid at a sleep-away camp wrote home, "Please send me some food. All they serve here are meals."
There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. One day, a man came in andasked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.
The boy walked into the back room and said, "there is some asshole out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half".
The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager called on the boy and said, "you almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressedwith the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here.
Where are you from son?" The boy replied, "Minnesota sir".
"Oh really? Why did you leave Minnesota" asked the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there." The manager was shocked and replied "My wife is from Minnesota!!"
The boy answered, "Really! What team did she play for?"
Why was the blonde looking in the refrigerator?
→ Because The organe Juice said concentrate
How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
→ Seven...one to mix the batter and six to peel the M&Ms.
