Food Jokes — best jokes

Why do blondes wash their hair in the kitchen?
→ That's the proper place to wash vegetables.

What are 3 problems about being an egg?
→ You only get laid once, the only woman to sit on your face is your mother, and it takes 4 minutes to get hard.

What's brown and crispy on the outside, and white and creamy on the inside?
→ A cockroach.

A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side his car. He was amazed to see the chicken keeping up with him because he was doing 50 MPH. He accelerated to 60 and the chicken stayed right next to him. He speeded up to 75 MPH and the chicken passed him up. The man noticed the chicken had three legs.

So, he followed to chicken down a road and ended up at a farm. He got out of his car and saw that all the chickens had three legs. He asked the farmer "What's up with these chickens?"

The farmer said "Well, everybody likes chicken legs. I bred a three legged bird. I'm going to be a millionaire." The man asked him how they tasted.

The farmer said "Don't know, haven't caught one yet."

What are the five reasons for not wanting to be an egg?

1. You only get laid once.
2. You only get eaten once.
3. It takes you seven min. to get hard in boiling water.
4. You have to come in a box with 11 other guys.
5. The only one that ever sits on your face is your mother.

Top 15 Household Pet Dishes

15. Angelfish Cake
16. Hamster and Cheese on Rye
17. Chow Chow Mein
18. Bran Muffy
19. Eggs BenjiDict
20. Yorkieshire pudding
21. Shih-Tzu Kabobs
22. Potbelly Pig in a Blanket
23. Shrimp Cockatiel
24. Fettucine AlFido
25. Chicken Poodle Soup
26. Turtlellini
27. Lhasa Thermidor
28. Rex-Mex Enchihuahuas
29. I'll-Teach-You-to-Piss-On-My-Pillow Persian Pancakes

Yo mamma is so ugly, she made an onion cry.

Yo mama's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.

Yo mama is so fat, that the back of her neck looks like a package of hot dogs.

You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.