Random joke from this category
Two Polish guys are discussing one's upcoming wedding... "I'm not sure if my future bride is a virgin or not."
His buddy replies, "Oh, there's an easy test for that. All you need is some red paint, some blue paint and a shovel. You paint one ball red and one ball blue. On your honeymoon, if she laughs and says 'Those are the funniest balls I've ever seen!' you hit her with the shovel!"
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
→ Everyone has the same DNA.
A man of Polish ancestry walked up to the counter and asked for a Polish Meatball Sandwich. The man at the counter said, "What a Pollack."
The Polish man said, "I resent that. If a Jew came to your counter and asked for a kosher salami on rye, would you call him a stupid Jew."
"Probably, " replied the clerk.
"And if an Italian came in here and asked for spaghetti and meatballs, would you also insult him?"
"Probably," the clerk again replied.
"Why you're nothing but a bigot. Why do you have to insult everybody not like you?"
At this, the clerk replied, "Because this is a HARDWARE store, moron."
What's the difference between American and Serbian pilots?
→ American pilots break ground and fly into the wind!
In America the late night news used to broadcast this message: "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?"
In England they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?"
In France they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your husband is?"
In Poland they say "It's 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"
Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy's father presents him with a new pistol.
On the other side of town, at his bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day at school, the two boys are showing each other what they got. They each liked what the other one got, so, they traded.
That night, when the Italian boy is at home, his father sees him looking at the watch. "Where did you getta thatta watch?" asks the man. The boy explains that he and Sammy had traded. The father blows his top. "Whatta you? Stupidda boy? Whatsa matta you!"
"Somma day, you maybe gonna getta married. Then maybe somma day you gonna comma home and finda you wife inna bed with another man. Whatta you gonna do then? Looka atta you watch and say, 'How longa you gonna be?'"
That Scottish couple finally worked out a solution to the eternal love triangle.
They ate the sheep.
What did the Jewish paedophile say to the little boy after luring him into his car?
→ Hey, go easy on those fucking sweets.
How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
→ They put parking meters on the roof!
A young lady asked the Scotsman what he wore under his kilt.
"Reach up there and find out."
She did, but quickly pulled her hand back out and said, "Oh, it's gruesome!"
"Aye, it has," replied the Scotsman, "and if you put your hand back up there, it'll grow some more!"
