Random joke from this category
A Jewish young man was seeing a psychiatrist for an eating and sleeping disorder. "I am so obsessed with my mother... As soon as I go to sleep, I start dreaming, and everyone in my dream turns into my mother. I wake up in such a state, all I can do is go downstairs and eat a piece of toast." The psychiatrist replies: "What, just one piece of toast, for a big boy like you?"
A boy comes home from school and tells his mother that he got a part in the school play. "What part?" the mother asked.
"I play a Jewish husband," the boy replied. "Go back to school and tell your teacher that you want a speaking role!"
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so are most of my customers" "Okay" says the customer, "I'll tell it very slowly."
Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last get-together. They hugged and slapped each others back and tears formed in their eyes as they renewed their old friendship.
"Let's have a drink like we did in the old days," the first Scot winked at his mate.
"Aye," his mate replied. "And don't forget it's your shout."
A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder... the bartender looks up and says, "Where the hell did you get that thing?"
The Parrot replies, "Over in Africa, there's millions of them!!!"
Did you hear about the Mexico City earthquake?
→ It did $100 million worth of improvements.
Did you hear about the new German microwave oven?
→ It seats 500.
Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
→ He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says, "Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?"
What's the one thing you can do to a Jewish girl's asshole to make her squeal with delight?
→ Give him a raise.
What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
→ An Italian mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill you."
→ A Jewish mother says, "If you don't eat it, I'll kill myself."
