Dumb Jokes — best jokes

A blond and a brunette are on an elevator, suddenly a good looking handsome man gets on. So then the brunette turns to the blond and says, "Wow, he is so good looking, but that dandruff on him is a real turn off."

"I think we should give him some Head and Shoulders!" said the brunette. All of a sudden the blond turned to the brunette with a confused look and said, "Ok, but how do you give shoulders?"

Did you hear about the 4 Pollocks who froze to death in a drive-in movie???
→ They went to see "Closed For the Winter"!

The problem with keeping an open mind is that all my ideas tend to fall out.

Did you hear about the blonde that stared at an orange juice can for 20 minutes because it said concentrate?

A brunette was walking on the railroad tracks saying, "21...21....21...." when a blonde jumped on. A train came and the brunette jumped off...the train hit the blonde. The Brunette then got back onto the tracks and started saying, "22.....22......22....."

One bright sunny day, a beautiful blonde girl was cruising the countryside in her new, shiny red sports car. Suddenly, she jammed on the brakes, and she brought the car to a sideways, screeching halt. She quickly jumped out of the car, and ran up the road a little way, to where she began fuming in anger.

For there, about 40 feet in front of her, in the middle of the road, were two other beautiful young blondes, sitting in a rowboat. One was on the middle seat, straining her arms and pulling for all she was worth on a set of oars, while the other was in the bow of the boat shouting through a megaphone, "Stroke! Stroke!"

So infuriated was the first blonde at these two and their foolishness, that she began pacing back forth on the pavement, throwing gravel and dirt at them from her place on the road, and she screamed at the top of her lungs, "You two are so stupid, and if I could swim, I'd come out there and kick both your behinds!!"

How do you get a one-armed nufie out of a tree?
→ Wave!

How do you get a two-armed nufie out of a tree?
→ Wave both hands!

A blonde's house is on fire. She calls 911 and says, "My house is on fire." The dispatcher says, "Well, can you tell me how we get there?"

"Duhhhh, in the big red trucks, of course."

A man walks into a bar and sees a guy with a really big lighter.

He asks the man, "Where did you get such a big lighter?"

The man replies, "See that man playing piano over there? He's a genie and he'll grant you one wish."

So the guy walks over to the genie and says, "I wish for a million bucks." All of a sudden the room fills up with a million ducks.

The man walks over to the guy with the lighter and says, "That genie is a little hard of hearing isn't he." The guy replies, "no kidding"! "You think I asked for a 14 inch bic!"

Three women were being held in a foreign country. They were slated for the firing squad.

The commander yells, "Ready...
Aim..." and the brunette yells "Earthquake!!!"

Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the brunette escapes.

The commander then tells his soldiers to get up. "Ready...
Aim..." and the redhead yells "Tornado!!!"

Immediately the soldiers fall to the ground and in the confusion the redhead escapes.

The commander then yells to his soldiers to get up. "Ready...
Aim..." and the blonde yells "Fire!!!"