Dumb Jokes — best jokes

- Teacher: Jeff, have you been copying Johnny's test again?

- Jeff: Yes, but how did you know?

- Teacher: On question #1, Johnny put down "I don't know". And you put down "Me neither".

So Sven and Ole were out working in the forest one day. They had just gotten jobs as lumber jacks. Well one say they were working along cutting down all the trees that had the big red X on them.

As instructed by the foreman they were to yell 'TIMBER!' whenever the tree was about to fall. Ole was cutting down a tree and yelled 'Timber' and all of a sudden he saw a skidder pulling a tree out of the woods drive right under where the tree was about to fall. There was nothing he could do about it.

The tree fell on the cab killing poor 'ol DooDah. That was his name for his parents gave it to him. He was a young man recentley married. Well Sven and Ole didn't know what to do, so they called the priest and he said to go talk and comfort DooDah's now widow.

Well they walked out of the forest into town and arrived at the widows house. They were dumbfounded and didn't know what to think or say. So quickly as the fact the tree fell.....

Sven rang the doorbell.

A few minutes later the widow DooDah appeared at the door. Sven says that Ole has something to say. He's at a loss of words and all that comes out of his mouth is 'GUESS WHO DIED IN THE WOODS TODAY ....!'

One day a burnette and a blond lady were walking through the park. All-of-a-sudden, the burnette stops and says "Awe, look at the poor dead birdy." The blond looks up and says "Where!?"

There was this not too bright scientist doing a study on how frogs respond to commands.

He tells a frog to jump. The frog jumps 30 feet. He writes in his log book, frog jumps 30 feet.

Then he cuts off one leg. He gives the same command to frog. It jumps 25 feet. In Log: Cut off one leg, frog jumps 5 less feet.

He cuts off another leg. Frog goes 20 feet. He records it in log book.

Then he cuts off the 3rd leg, commands frog to jump. Frog jumps 10 feet. He writes, cut off 3 legs and frog now jumps 10 less feet.

Finally, he cuts off the last leg and commands frog, JUMP! Frog doesn't move an inch. So the scientist writes in his book... Cut off all 4 legs and frog GOES DEAF!

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ What's a light bulb?

A blonde dies and goes to the pearly gates of heaven to meet Saint Peter...

He first tells her that the only way she can get through the gate is to pass a quite simple test.

"What is The Son Of God's name?" he asks.

She thinks for a minute, rubbing her chin in deep thought. "Andy!" She bursts out with a gleaming smile.

"No, I'm sorry that is incorrect, what made you say that?" he asks.

She starts singing... "Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me, andy tells me..."

How do you drown a blonde?
→ Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

There were two blonds on their way to Disney World.

When they were getting close there was a sign that read, "DISNEY WORLD LEFT." So they turned around and went home.

Why did the blonde have lipstick on her stearing wheel?
→ She was trying to blow the horn!

What goes "errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh, errr, ohhh"?
→ A blonde at a blinking red light!