Dumb Jokes — best jokes

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Barbie Brain in a Jar ...an empty jar

A man walks into a bar and has a couple of beers. Once he is done the bartender tells him he owes $9.00.

"But I paid, don't you remember?" says the customer.

"Okay," says the bartender, "If you said you paid, you did."

The man then goes outside and tells the first person he sees that the bartender can't keep track of whether his customers have paid.

The second man then rushes in, orders a beer and later pulls the same stunt.

The barkeep replies, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."

Soon the customer goes into the street, sees an old friend, and tells him how to get free drinks.

The man hurries into the bar and begins to drink high-balls when, suddenly, the bartender leans over and says, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose."

"Don't bother me with your troubles," the final patron responds.
"Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on.
It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

"I can't take your money," said the first guy. "I cheated you. The same story was on the five o'clock news." "No, no. Take it," said the second guy. "I saw the five o'clock news too. I just didn't think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!"

Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit's new baby? She thought babies should be pink, so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.

Why are you eating a banana with the skin on?
→ Oh, it's all right. I know what's inside.

Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, "Wait Please."

To which Laloo replied, "65 kgs," and moved on.

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

A technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

A customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then he removed all the keys and washed them individually.

A customer needed help setting up a new program, so the technician suggested he go to the local Egghead.
"Yeah, I got me a couple of friends," the man said. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."