Dirty Jokes — best jokes

A homosexual walked into a delicatessen and asked the shopkeeper for a large knob of salami.

- Would you like it sliced, sir? - the shopkeeper asked politely.

- What do you think I am? - replied the fag:

- ...a money box!

How many gay men does it take to put in a light bulb?
→ Only one...but it takes an entire Emergency Room to get it out.

Two fags were walking down the street and passed a handsome guy. One fag turned to the other and said:

- See that stud there, Bruce?

- Sure.

- Well, let me tell you, he's a tremendous fuck!

- No shit? - Bruce asked.

- Well, hardly any.

What's a famous saying at a gay bar?
→ May I push in your stool.

How can you tell if your college roomate is gay?
→ His dick tastes like shit.

What do you call a gay bar that has no chairs?
→ A fruit stand.

Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swalow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.

How do you tell if you are in a gay church?
→ Only half the congregation is kneeling.

Two gay men were in bed fooling around when all of a sudden the door bell rings. The first gay man tells the second, "Don't cum until I come back", and he rushes off to answer the door.

After a few minutes, he eagerly returns to the bedroom only to find cum was all over the bed and sheets. He says to the second gay man, "I thought you wasn't going to cum until I came back." The second gay man says to the first, "I didn't cum, ........ I farted!"

How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat?
→ If you sit down before the other guy gets off.