Christmas Jokes — best jokes

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
→ Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

What is the difference between Father Christmas and a warm dog?
→ Father Christmas wears a whole suit, a dog just pants!

Why did Frosty the Snowman pull down his pants?
→ He heard the snowblower coming.

A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes:

- Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new...

He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.

He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again:

- Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new...

He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes:

- Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again...

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner:

- What are you charged with?

- Doing my Christmas shopping early - replied the defendant.

- That's no offense - said the judge.

- How early were you doing this shopping?

- Before the store opened - countered the prisoner.

What did Mrs. Claus say to Santa as they were looking out their front window?
→ "Looks like rein dear"

Why is Christmas just like a day at the office?
→ You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.

Why does Santa Claus only have seven reindeer?
→ Because Prancer moved in with a hairdresser in Beverly Hills.

Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble?
Its true....

Comet cleans sinks!

Why is it so cold at Christmas?
→ It's in Decembrrrrr.