Christmas Jokes — best jokes

What's your dad getting for Christmas?
→ Bald and fat.

What would you get if you crossed Halloween with Christmas?
→ A ghoul Yule!

What will Santa bring your fish this Christmas?
→ A scale letrix!

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?
→ A ladder in her stocking!

How is Christmas celebrated in a Jewish home?
→ They put parking meters on the roof!

Did you hear about the Jewish Santa Claus?
→ He comes down the chimney, wakes up the children and says:

- Hey kids, do you want to buy some toys?

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas?
→ They all gather around their cash registers and sing "What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."

Who do elephants get their christmas presents from?
→ Elephanta Claus!

What do elephants sing at christmas?
→ Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants...

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?
→ He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.