Random joke from this category
Mary went to Jill's place to tell her about a horrible experience she'd had the previous night with this bloke she brought home.
"Well, what happened when you got there?" Jill asked.
"The bastard called me a slut!" Mary said.
"And what did you do then?" Jill asked, shocked.
"I told him to get the fuck out of my bedroom and take his eight mates with him!" Mary said.
What's the most active muscle in a woman?
→ The penis.
How long does it take for a woman to orgasm?
→ Who cares?
A truck driver breaks down and shortly another trucker stops to give him a hand. He notices that the first driver has a big red spot painted on his dash and asks him what it's for.
He replies, "Oh that's a conversation piece for when I pick up female hitchhikers. I get lots of pussy that way."
The other driver thinks that's a great idea so he paints a red spot on his dash too. Then he sees a girl hitchhiking so he picks her up. She notices the red spot on the dash and asks him what it's for.
He says, "It's a conversation piece. You wanna fuck?"
Why are women so bad at mathematics?
→ Because men keep telling them that this |<---------------------->| is 12 inches.
A guy walks into an elevator and stands next to a beautiful woman.
After a few minutes he turns to her and says, "Can I smell your pussy?"
The woman looks at him in disgust and says, "Certainly not!"
"Hmmm," he replies. "It must be your feet, then."
There were three women sitting in a bar and they were discussing how much their husbands could get up their crotch.
The first woman said, "My husband can get his whole hand up me."
The second lady said, "My husband can get his whole head up me."
The third lady slid down the bar stool.
At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No." A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"
"I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?"
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt!
So I fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Man to a woman: Do you know what the difference between a blowjob and a cheeseburger is?
Woman: No.
Man: Let's have lunch sometime...
