Sex Jokes — worst jokes

How do you know you're leading a sad life?
→ When a nymphomaniac tells you, "Let's just be friends."

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
→ Hold unto your nuts-This is no ordinary Blow Job!

What did the banana say to the vibrator?
→ "I don't know why you're shaking...she's gonna EAT me!"

What are the two greatest lies?
→ "The check is in the mail," and "I promise I won't cum in your mouth."

What's long, hard, and has semen in it?
→ A submarine!

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
→ "It might take me a while to get hard I just got layed last night."

Why did the condom cross the road?
→ Because it was pissed off.

What is the difference between a drug pusher and a prostitute?
→ A prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again.

What did the egg say to the boiling water?
→ "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."

Why is air a lot like sex?
→ Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.