Mom/Dad Jokes — worst jokes

What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?
→ Spook when you're spooken to.

- Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin?

- No more, mom. It's empty.

- Boy: What's black, slimy, with hairy legs and eyes on stalks?

- Mom: Eat the cookies and don't worry about what's in the tin.

- Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now there's only one. Why?

- Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one.

- Mummy! Mummy! Have you seen my Cabbage Patch Doll?

- Be quiet and finish your coleslaw!

- Fred! What did I say I'd do if I found you with your fingers in the butter again?

- That's funny, Mom. I can't remember either.

- Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?

- Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!

- Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question?

- Johnny: It's because I saw one on daddy's lettuce, but now it's gone.

A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, "How does this boat float?"

The father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, "How do fish breath underwater?"

Once again the father replied, "Don't rightly know son." A little later the boy asked his father, "Why is the sky blue?"

Again, the father repied. "Don't rightly know son." Finally, the boy asked his father, "Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?"

The father replied, "Of course not, you don't ask questions, you never learn nothin'."

Henry's son, David, burst into the house, crying. His mother asked him what the problem was.

"Daddy and I were fishing, and he hooked a giant fish. Really big. Then, while he was reeling it in, the line busted and the fish got away."

"Now come on, David," his mother said, "a big boy like you shouldn't be crying about an accident like that. You should have just laughed it off."

"But that's just what I did, mommy."

A clergyman walking down a country lane and sees a young farmer struggling to load hay back onto a cart after it had fallen off.

"You look hot, my son," said the cleric. "why don't you rest a moment, and I'll give you a hand."

"No thanks," said the young man.

"My father wouldn't like it."

"Don't be silly," the minister said.

"Everyone is entitled to a break. Come and have a drink of water."

Again the young man protested that his father would be upset. Losing his patience, the clergyman said, "Your father must be a real slave driver. Tell me where I can find him and I'll give him a piece of my mind!"

"Well," replied the young farmer, "he's under the load of hay."