Men Jokes — worst jokes

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
→ When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

A man goes into a doctor's office and says "Doctor! Doctor! I have five penises!"

The doctor says, "Good lord! How do your pants fit?"

The man replies, "Like a glove."

A man went to the doctor's. The doctor came in and said, "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that you have an inoperable brain tumor. The good news is our hospital has just been certified to do brain transplants and there has been an accident right out front and a young couple was killed and you can have whichever brain you'd like. The man's brain costs $100,000.00 and the woman's brain costs $30,000.00."

The patient could not help but ask, "Why such a large difference between the male and the female brain?" The doctor replied, "The female brain is used."

Two doctors found themselves on the beach in Hawaii.

As a real bevy of bikini-clad females walked by, one said, "Look at the legs among that group."

"Sorry old chap." replied the second doctor. "But I'm a chest man myself."

A guy says, "I remember the first time I used alcohol as a substitute for women."

- Yeah what happened? asked his friend.

- Well, er, I got my penis stuck in the neck of the bottle.

When a man takes off his pants in a hotel room, what's the first thing to hang out?
→ The DO NOT DISTURB sign!

It has been determined that having sex before participating in athletic activity, such as a marathon race, does not impair the athlete's performance. In fact, men have known and displayed this for centuries. After sex, they glance at their watches and say, "Oops, gotta run!"

Confucious say: "Man who goes to sleep with sex on mind wakes up with solution in hand."

Why do women fake orgasms?
→ Because men fake foreplay.

Two friends met after a long time, and chatted about what's been going on since they last met. One of them had a new girlfriend and the other one asked about her cooking, her relation to his folks etc. etc. and finally asked "How is she in bed?" First guy replies "She's fantastic, she sucks like a real man!"