Men Jokes — worst jokes

What do you call a man with 90% of his intelligence gone?
→ Divorced

What is a more macho man?
→ At the critical moment when he can't get it up, he asks the woman, 'Does this happen to you often?'

Why did the man cross the road?
→ Because his penis told him to.
→ Because he thought he could get laid if he did.
→ So the woman driving down the street could hit him. (You know us women, we just can't drive worth shit...)
→ Because another man dared him to and called him a pussy.

Why do men like frozen microwave dinners so much?
→ They like being able to both eat and make love in under 5 minutes.

What do men and women have in common?
→ They both distrust men.

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts?
→ Guilt gifts are nicer.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
→ His wife is good at picking out clothes!

How are men like UFOs?
→ You don't know where they come from, what their mission is, or what time they're going to take off.

How is a man like the weather?
→ Nothing can be done to change either one of them.

What is the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
→ The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.