Men Jokes — worst jokes

Why are men endowed with a half ounce more brains than dogs?
→ So they know not to embarrass themselves by humping women's knees at parties.

Why don't men get hemorrhoids?
→ Because they are all perfect assholes!

Why do men snore?
→ When they fall asleep, their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock.

What's the difference between government bonds and men?
→ Bonds mature.

What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
→ Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
→ E.T. phoned home.

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
→ When it's time to go back to childhood, he's already there.

Why do men resist becoming fathers?
→ Because they aren't through yet being children.

What is the best way to get a man to do sit-ups?
→ Put the remote control between his toes.

How do men exercise at the beach?
→ By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.