Marriage Jokes — worst jokes

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?
→ A widower.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
→ After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What's a man idea of helping with the housework?
→ Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

Where's the safest place to hide money from a man?
→ Under the soap

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
→ Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
→ A widow.

What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
→ His wife is good at picking out clothes.

A husband was trying to prove to his wife that women talk more than men.

He showed her a study which indicated that men use about 10,000 words per day, whereas women use 20,000 words per day.

His wife thought about this for a while. She then told her husband that women use twice as many words as men because they have to repeat everything they say.

Her husband looked stunned. He said "What?"

When Mr. Maxwell's wife left him he couldn't sleep.
"She took the bed!"

Marriage is nature's way of preventing people from fighting with strangers.