Ethnic — worst jokes

A kilted Scotsman was walking down a country path after finishing off a considerable amount of whiskey at a local pub. As he staggered down the road, he felt quite sleepy and decided to take a nap, with his back against a tree.

As he slept, two young lasses walked down the road and heard the Scotsman snoring loudly. They saw him, and one said, "I've always wondered what a Scotsman wears under his kilt."

She boldly walked over to the sleeping man, raised his kilt, and saw what nature had provided him at his birth.

Her friend said, "Well, he has solved a great mystery for us, now! He must be rewarded!" So, she took a blue ribbon from her hair, and gently tied it around what nature had provided the Scotsman, and the two walked away.

Some time later, the Scotsman was awakened by the call of nature, and walked around to the other side of the tree to relieve himself. He raised his kilt...and saw where the blue ribbon was tied.

After several moments of bewilderment, the Scotsman said...

"I don't know where y'been lad...but it's nice ta'know y'won first prize!"

Why isn't gambling allowed in Africa?
→ Because of all the cheetahs.

What is the difference between a newfie and a bucket of shit...
→ The Bucket

A long time ago, way back then...we used to spell Canada, Cnd.

Why? you ask. Well it's really simple...

It's because we forgot the eh?

A swedish man was bored. He was bored with his work, bored with his life in general. He felt as there was nothing waiting for him in this life... ...until one day, in the breakfast table, he was reading the morning paper, when he saw an article, which would change his life. It said: "...

Scientist's had found out, that somewhere in Africa, one could still find tribes of genuine cavemen, untouched by civilization. Only thing needed was to find the correct cave and shout "Wohoo!!" and the tribe would answer to this call."

"This is it!" the swede thought. "This is what I've been waiting for! I'll sell everything I own, go to Africa, find these cavemen, and become rich and famous!"

And so he did. He sells everything, moves to Africa and starts looking for the tribe. But cave after cave after cave, no answer. No cavemen. Until one day, yet another cave, and another yell: "Juhuuu!!" And then he heard it! " WWOOOOUU WOOOOOO !!!! " "Härregud!" The Swede thought, "A whole tribe!" And just as he was starting to run to the cave, he thought: "Now wait a minute. These are cavemen. They don't wear any clothes, and I might scare then off." So he stripped his clothes off quickly, and started to run into the cave.

And the following day, he was in the headlines all over the world: "Naked Swede ran over by a train in Africa"

How do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed?
→ Put velcro on the ceiling.

Why are there no phone books in China?
→ Because there are so many Wing's and Wong's, they are afraid you will Wing the Wong number.

If you're American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
→ European.

How can you tell when a Jewish girl has an orgasm?
→ She drops her nail file.

A Dutchman, a German and a Belgian are planning to walk in the desert.

The Dutchman says: "I'll bring an umbrella for the shade when it gets too hot."

The German says: "I'll bring some sunglasses. This sun can really destroy your eyes!"

The Belgian remains silent.

Next day, the Dutchman and the German are astonished. "What's that?" they both shout. The Belgian answers: "It's a car door. Now I can open the window when it gets hot..."