Animal Jokes — worst jokes

If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside????
→ K9P.

What do you call a villager with 500 girlfriends?
→ A shepherd.

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook?
→ 100 way to wok your dog.

That Scottish couple finally worked out a solution to the eternal love triangle.

They ate the sheep.

Two boys are playing football in Golden Gate Park when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck.

A reporter who is strollin by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy. "A brave New Yorker saves friend from vicious animal", he starts writing in his notebook.

"But I'm not from New York" the boy replies.

"I'm visiting from Kentucky!"

The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Redneck bastard kills family pet".

Did you hear about the Irishman who went duck hunting?
→ He didn't get any because he couldn't throw the dog high enough.

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder... the bartender looks up and says, "Where the hell did you get that thing?"

The Parrot replies, "Over in Africa, there's millions of them!!!"

If Tarzan and Jane were Jewish, what would Cheetah be?
→ A fur coat.

Why do New Zealanders have sex with sheep on the edge of mountains?
→ So they push back harder.