Animal Jokes — worst jokes

What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?
→ The white one got away.

"Johnny, where's your homework?" Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?" "It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I had to force him, but he ate it!"

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

- Mother: What does the cow say?

- Child: Moooo!

- Mother: Great! What does the cat say?

- Child: Meow.

- Mother: Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?

And this wide-eyed little three-year-old looked up at her mother and replied, "Bud."

What does a blond and a turtle have in common?
→ When they lay on their backs they're screwed!

What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick?
→ Fucks funny!

A blind man walks into a drug store with his seeing eye dog.

He takes the dogs leash & starts swinging it around & around his head.

The druggist says "May I help you?" The blind man replies "No thank you, I'm just looking around."

How do you get a horny dog to stop humping on your leg?
→ Pick him up and start sucking his dick.

A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, "What the hell is that all about?"

The farmer says, "We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain't nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other."

How do you get an elephant out of the water?
→ Wet.

How do you get two elephants out of the water?
→ One by one.

How do you get four elephants into a Mini?
→ Two in the front, two in the back.