Animal Jokes — worst jokes

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:

- Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?

As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks:

- Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?

She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees,

leans forward and says in a quiet voice:

- I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.

- Doctor - said the patient:

- I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!

- How long have you had this problem? - the doctor asked.

- Lest's see - said the patient:

- Mom had the litter in '41.

When you call a dog, they usually come to you.
When you call a cat; they take a message.

Why couldn't the cat speak?
→ The dog taped his mouth.

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
→ An a-cat-emy award.

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
→ Because of the tree bark.

A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. - Excuse me - he said to the cat in charge:

- Can you get milk stains out?

- Sure - replied the cat.

- We'll have that stain licked in a minute!

What is an octopus?
→ An eight-sided cat.

What do cat actors say on stage?
→ Tabby or not tabby!

What is another way to describe a cat?
→ A heat seeking missile!