Animal Jokes — worst jokes

Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day?
→ He fell in love with the Grand National winner!

Did you hear about the Irishman who couldn't tell the difference between his two horses?
→ His friend suggested measuring them, that didn't help though, the Irishman discovered that the brown horse was only an inch taller than the white one!

Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
→ He always said "Neigh"

Did you hear about the horse that has made a dozen films?
→ He's not a star though, he just does bit parts!

Did you hear about the depressed horse?
→ He told a tale of whoa!

Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
→ He was the last of his race!

A cat and a mouse died on the same day and went up to Heaven. At the top they met God and he asked them:

- How do you like it so far?

The mouse replied:

- It's great, but can I get a pair of roller skates?

God said:

- Sure, and he gave him a pair of roller skates.

The next day God saw the cat and asked him:

- How do you like it up here so far?

and the cat replied:

- Great, I didn't know you had meals on wheels up here!

- Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia?

- Must have been a duck family.

- A duck family?

- Didn't you say there was a quack in it!

Why do polo bears like bald men?
→ Because they have a great, white, bear place!

What do you call a bug that bothers dogs on Halloween?
→ A trick-or-fleat!