Sport Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you get if you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable?
→ A common tater!

What is the slowest racehorse in the world?
→ A clotheshorse!

If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, what do gynecologists get?
→ Tunnel vision!

Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball.

"I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition."

"Batted .007," his wife added.

How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training?
→ Studying their Miranda Rights.

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?
→ Hide the ball, it drives them nuts!

- You said it was a great horse and it is.

- It took twenty other horses to beat him!

A lady went skiing and halfway down the hill had to go to the bathroom. No facilities nearby, she decided to find a sheltered area, dropped her pants and proceeded to relieve herself.

Suddenly she found herself beginning to slide backwards. Out into the open and down the slope with her pants around her knees. She crashed and broke her leg.

The paramedics rushed her to the local hospital. Her doctor walked into her room laughing his head off. He said, "You're not going to believe this, but the guy in the next room claims he fell off the ski lift and broke his leg because he saw a naked lady skiing backwards down the mountain!

"So, how did you break YOUR leg??"

What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches you?
→ Touchback.

When fish play football, who is the captain?
→ The team's kipper!