Sport Jokes — most viewed jokes

What is a runner's favourite subject in school?
→ Jog-raphy!

Did you hear about the football team who ate too much pudding?
→ They got jellygated!

What do the Pope and the Rams both appearing in the St. Louis Trans World Dome have in common?
→ They both feature 3 million people saying 'Jesus Christ!'

Why is horse racing so romantic?
→ Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!

There was the Florida State defensive tackle who thought Hertz Van Rentals was a famous Dutch painter.

Why are burglars such good tennis players?
→ Because they spend such a lot of their time in courts!

Which insect didn't play well in goal?
→ The fumble bee!

Mrs. McKenzie was showing Corbett, the contractor, through the second floor of her new house to show him what colors to paint the rooms. "I'd like the bathroom done in white!"

Corbett walked over to the window and shouted, "Green up! Green up!"

"I want the bedroom in blue!" continued the woman.

The contractor listened and yelled out the window, "Green up! Green up!"

"The halls should be done in beige!" she instructed.
Again, the man barked out the window, "Green up! Green up!"

"Will you stop that?!" shouted the woman. "Every time I give you a color, all you do is shout 'Green up!' What the devil does that mean?"

"I'm real sorry, ma'am!" explained Corbett. "But I got three Oklahoma basketball players down there tryin' to put in the front lawn!"

What does a footballer and a magician have in common?
→ Both do hat tricks!

Sandy began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.

Sandy approached and asked if she was all right.

The girl said she was.

A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself.

Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?"

The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously.

Feeling she was making progress, Sandy then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?"

"Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"