School — most viewed jokes

"What were you before you came to school, boys and girls?" asked the teacher, hoping that someone would say "babies." She was disappointed when all the children cried out, "Happy!"

When is an English teacher like a judge?
→ When she hands out long sentences.

Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence?
→ To see what was on the other side.

- Teacher: Tommy you try my patience!

- Tommy: No, teacher you had better try mine. There's more of it!

What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape?
→ A retarded ape.

What do you get if you cross a student and an alien?
→ Something from another universe-ity!

On what kind of ships do students study?
→ Scholarships.

How can you tell if a California State coed is a good cook?
→ She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

Mary arrived home from school covered in spots. 'Whatever's the matter?' asked her mother.
'I don't know,' replied Mary, 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

After the college boy delivered the pizza to Bud's trailer house, Bud asked, "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I'll be doing great."

"Is that so?" snorted Bud. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here's five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I'll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying?" asked Bud.

The lad smiled and said, "Applied psychology."