Random joke from this category
It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."
Twenty minutes later there was another announcement:
"Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."
- Dad, can you write in the dark?
- I think so. What is it you want me to write?
- Your name on this report card.
At a lesson in topography a soldier was asked: "What is farther away, Harrison, the moon or that object on this map?"
"That object, naturally."
"What makes you think that?"
"'Cause we can see the moon any clear night, and we can't see that object even at day time."
- Teacher: In music, if "f" means "forte", what does "ff" mean?
- Pupil: Eighty
- Teacher: Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes.
- Pupil: We're not passing notes. We're playing cards!
- Teacher: Jackie, take 932 from 1,439. What is the difference?
- Stella: That's what I say, what's the difference?
The teacher came up with a good problem.
"Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?"
"None," answered little Norman.
"None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic."
"Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"
- Father: How do you like going to school?
- Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between!
- Teacher: What is the formula for water?
- George: H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O
- Teacher: Is that the formula I gave you?
- George: Sure, you said H to O!
- Teacher: Why have you got cotton wool in your ears, do you have an infection?
- Pupil: Well you keep saying that things go in one ear and out the other so I am trying to keep them it all in!
