Random joke from this category
Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, "How did Greg do on his history exam?"
"Oh, not so good," he replied. "But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!"
A child at a Christian school was studying the early days of Mormonism in his class. He wrote on his paper, "The early Mormons believed in having more than one wife. This is called polygamy. But we believe in having only one wife. This is called monotony"
- Teacher: Where would you find an elephant?
- Pupil: You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose!
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
"What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked.
"That is the talking clock", the man replied.
"How's it work?" the friend asked.
"Watch", the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall... "KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
- I'm learning ancient history?
- So am I, let's go for a walk and talk over old times!
A group of Texas A&M Aggies and a group of Harvard students had been deadlocked in a spelling bee for an entire week. At the end of the contest the score was tied and the judges had a dilemma. They told the contestants that each group was to quickly come up with a poem using the word 'Timbuktu.' Well the Aggies started laughing the minute the word was uttered but Harvard just smiled and prepared their short rhyme. One Harvard student stood up and for his group recited 'Through the desert all night we ride on camels walking two by two, Destination Timbuktu.' Well the crowd politely applauded - they knew the Aggies couldnt beat that and the Aggies just continued laughing throughout the whole process. One Aggie stopped giggling long enough to stand and read the team's effort. He said, 'Tim and I, a hunting went, we came upon three women in a tent. Since they were three and we were two, I buk one and Timbuktu!'
In what school subjects does the teacher say, 'Well done, hamburgers'?
→ A wide range of subjects - meatyeval, history, meatematics and word grill.
What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
→ A visitor.
These are actual excuse notes teachers have received, spelling mistakes included.
"I gotta 'A' in spelling," Tony told his father.
"You dope!" he replied. "There isn't any 'A' in 'spelling'!"
