Relationships — most viewed jokes

How could Will Rogers say, "I never met a man I didn't like"?
→ He never had to date one.

A single man in his 40's often has a problem finding women at his level of maturity. That's why he dates someone half his age.

- Do you love me?

- Of course

- Then whisper something soft and sweet in my ear

- Lemon meringue pie!

What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
→ He gives it a valenshine!

What do you call an amorous insect?
→ The love bug.

William Bennett recalls when one of his "radical students" at Boston University announced that he and his girlfriend were getting married for "as long as we feel good about each other."

It seemed rather temporary to Dr. Bennett, so for a wedding present, he says, "I gave them paper plates."

What do you call two birds in love?
→ Tweethearts!

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

Phoning the florist to order some flowers for her lover's funeral, woman was caught off guard when asked what message she wanted on the card. "Message?" she sputtered.

"Well, I guess, 'You will be missed.'" Visiting the funeral home, she was pleased that her floral tribute had arrived but mortified that the card had her exact words: "I guess you will be missed."

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic."