Police Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Policeman: Are you going to a fire?

- Motorist: No, I'm trying to prevent one. That's what my boss said would happen if I were late again.

It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?"

"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.

"That's no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"

"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

- Policeman: Why did your car just spin around in circles?

- Motorist: I was making a U-turn and changed my mind.

Two wizards in a car were driving along and the police were chasing them for speeding.

One said, "What are we going to do?"

The other replied, "Quick, turn the car into a side street."

Who is the biggest gangster in the sea?
→ Al Caprawn!

A stupid bank robber rushed into a bank, pointed two fingers at the clerk and said, "This is a muck up!"

"Don't you mean a stick up?" asked the girl.

"No," said the robber, "it's a muckup. I've forgotten my gun."

Newsflash: Two criminals have escaped from prison today. One is orange and 9ft tall, and the other green and yellow and 2ft tall.
The police are searching high and low for them.

'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on visiting day. 'Why?'
'I've put a file in your cake.'

What was the parrot doing in prison?
→ It was a jail-bird!

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of the best carpenters in the local area. Often he would be given a weekend pass to do odd jobs for the citizens of the community.... and he always reported back to prison before Sunday night was over.

The warden was thinking of remodeling his kitchen and in fact had done much of the work himself. But he lacked the skills to build a set of kitchen cupboards and a large counter top, which he had promised his wife. So he called Andy into his office and asked him to complete the job for him.

But, alas, Andy refused. He told the warden, "Gosh, I'd really like to help you but counter fitting is what got me into prison in the first place."