Police Jokes — most viewed jokes

A mafioso's son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new..." He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away.

He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, "Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new..." He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away.

He then gets an idea. He goes into his mother's room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, "Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again..."

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night. "There's a burglar downstairs eating the cake that I made this morning."

"Who shall I call," her husband asked, "police or ambulance?"

'You boy!' called a policeman. 'Can you help? We're looking for a man with a huge red nose called Cotters......'

'Really?' said the boy. 'What're his ears called?'

- Policeman: Why did you lead me on a high-speed chase?

- Motorist: Because you'd catch me on a slow one.

- Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going?

- Motorist: No, you're the one with the radar.

- Policeman: Didn't you see that stop sign?

- Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

- Bill: Where did you get that gold watch Joe?

- Joe: I won it in a race.

- Bill: How many people participated in it?

- Joe: Three, a policeman, the owner of the watch, and me!!

What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals?
→ F.B.I.

What do you call a robbery in China?
→ A Chinese take away!