Police Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving?
→ A road hog!

- Policeman: Why are you driving on the sidewalk?

- Motorist: It's too dangerous on the street.

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.

Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, "What are you lining up for, dear?" Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.

"Mmm, sounds lovely," said Grandma. "I think I'll have some myself," she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered.
"But you're so old... how do you do it?"

Grandma replied, "Oh, it's quite easy, sonny... I just remove my dentures and suck 'em dry!"

What's another word for a murderer who kills old ladies?
→ A Killergran.

- Detective: Do you think I should put on the cuffs?

- Criminal: Why? You look good in short sleeves.

Two small time thieves had been sent by the Big Boss to steal a van load of goods from a bathroom suppliers. One stayed in the van as look out and the other went into the storeroom. Fifteen minutes went by, then half an hour, then an hour, and no sign of him. The look out finally grew impatient and went to look for his partner. Inside the store the two came face to face. "Where have you been?" demanded the worried look out. "The boss told me to take a bath, but I couldn't find the soap and a towel."

What did the burglar say to the watchmaker as he tied him up?
→ Sorry to take so much of your valuable time.

A gang of witches broke into a blood bank last night and stole a thousand pints of blood.
Police are still hunting for the clots.

I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, "Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?" "Yes, officer, but I wasn't going to be out that long."

How do bank robbers send messages?
→ By flee mail!