Men Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call a man with 99% of his brain missing?
→ Castrated.

Why do women pay so much attention to their appearance rather than to improving their minds?
→ Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
→ Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked:

- You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?

- Why?

- Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.

One day, a man walked into the dentist's office for some dental work.

The dentist said:

- Sir, you have a tooth I must pull, What type of pain killer would you like?

The man looked at the dentist and said:

- None, thanks, I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life.

The dentist said:

- Sir, pulling this tooth Will be painful, I suggest a painkiller.

The man looked back at the dentist and said:

- I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, Nothing else will ever compare.

The dentist said:

- Sir, I'm telling you, use a painkiller.

The man again said to the dentist:

- I have experienced the second greatest pain in my life, I do not need painkillers, now pull the tooth.

The dentist then said:

- Okay, You asked for it, But first, tell me what was the second greatest pain in your life?

The man said:

- Yes, I remember it well. I was hunting in some woods north of here one snowy day. Walking through the woods, the urge came upon me and I headed over to a tree. Well, I started to do my thing, and when the first part dropped, It set off a large bear trap that was hidden in the snow that closed on my balls. That was the second greatest pain in my life.

The dentist then said:

- Ouch! But then what was the first greatest pain in your life?

The man replied:

- When I reached the end of the chain.

What do you do if your bank account stops working?
→ Throw the guy out of the house.

What do you call a man who opens the car door for you?
→ A chauffeur.

One of the reasons that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce is that those men who promised that they'd die for their woman just don't come through.

How many men does it take to mop the floor?
→ None, it's a women's job.

Why are some men uncircumcised?
→ The doctors were afraid of causing brain damage to the infant.