Men Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you do if your bank account stops working?
→ Throw the guy out of the house.

A fellow went to the doctor one day and said, "Doc, I have a problem. My penis is red."

Doctor replied, "Drop your pants, let me take a look. Ummm...yes, no problem, we can have you fixed up in no time, $40."

The fellow was impressed. Told his friend of the experience and that he hadn't been to a doctor for only $40 for quite a spell.

His friend said, "Really? I have a similar problem. What doctor did you go to?"

So his friend goes to the same doctor and tells him, "Doc, George recommended you...you've got to help me. My penis is blue."

Doc asks to take a look. "Ah yes... Ummm... Yep, we can take care of it, no problem, $400."

"FOUR HUNDRED DOLLARS? Wait a MINUTE! You took care of George for only $40."

"Yes, I did. But George's penis had lipstick on it. Yours has gangrene!"

Men are like plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom

Why do bald men have holes in their trouser pockets?
→ So they can run their fingers through their hair!

Why is it dangerous to let your man's mind wander?
→ It's too little to be out alone.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
→ Close the door.

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
→ Any place without a drive-up window.

What's the easiest way for a wife to cause hearing loss in her husband?
→ Say she wants to talk to him.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
→ After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

One of the reasons that fifty percent of marriages end in divorce is that those men who promised that they'd die for their woman just don't come through.