Men Jokes — most viewed jokes

How can you tell if a man you're dating is lazy?
→ He throws his kisses.

A woman was cutting her husband's thinning hair, when their teenage son arrived home looking for a snack.

She offered a kiwifruit and tried to tempt him with its nutritious qualities.

- It has more vitamin C than an orange - she remarked.

- And more hair than Dad - added their son.

- How much for a haircut?

- Barber: Fifteen dollars.

- How much for a shave?

- Barber: Ten dollars.

- Right - shave my head.

What is the difference between a hog and a man?
→ A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

A man parked his car at the supermarket and was walking past an empty cart when he heard a woman ask:

- Excuse me, did you want that cart?

- No, I'm only after one thing - he answered.

As he walked toward the store, he heard her murmur:

- Typical male.

What do you do if your boyfriend walks out?
→ Close the door.

How can you tell if a man is happy?
→ Who cares?

Why don't women have any brains?
→ Because they don't have any testicles to put them in.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
→ After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Men are like plungers.
They spend most of their lives in a hardware store or the bathroom