Random joke from this category
Tad answered the Tennessee State frat house phone.
"Hi," said the voice, "this is Rollie. Come on over, we're having a real wildass party."
"Shit, Ah'd shore love to," said Tad, "but Ah got me a bad case of gonorrhea."
"Bring it along!" answered Rollie. "The way thangs is goin', mah buddies'll drink anythin'!"
What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?
→ He braces himself
Why do dentists like potatoes?
→ Because they are so filling.
- Why are you laughing?
- My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don't see much to laugh about in that.
- But it was the wrong one!
- Gerald: Have you ever come across a man who, at the slightest touch, caused you to thrill and tremble in every fiber of your being?
- Mabel: Yes, the dentist.
What game did the dentist play when she was a child?
→ Caps and robbers
A woman comes to a gynecologist for a checkup. She seems to be very embarrassed and uncomfortable.
- Haven't you been examined like this before? asks the doctor.
- Many times, she giggles, but never by doctor!
- Dentist: Just let me finish and you will be another man after these cosmetic procedures.
- Patient: Okay doc, but don't forget to send your bill to the other man.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
→ Tooth Hurty!
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do?"
"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let's see, do you smoke?"
- Oh.. Half a pack a day.
- Starting NOW, no more smoking.
The man agrees.
The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"
- Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while.
- Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions.
The man is a bit upset, but also agrees.
The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"
- Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff.
- Starting now you are going on a very strict diet. You are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese.
The man is now really worried.
- Doc, is all this really necessary?
- Do you want to live long?
- Yes.
- Well then, it's absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet.
The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues, "Do you have sex?"
- Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife! he adds hurriedly.
"As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you. None."
The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?"
"I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure you it is going to seem like an eternity!"
