Medicine — most viewed jokes

- Look here, doc! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kidneys. I only came to see if you could get me out of this place!

- I am, bit by bit!

What did the dentist see at the North Pole?
→ A molar bear

Why does a dentist seem moody?
→ Because he always looks down in the mouth.

And then there once was the doctor who was so conceited about his looks and charm that whenever he took a woman's pulse, he subtracted 10 beats to account for her being excited near him.

A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech.

Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can't read his notes. So he asks, "Is there a pharmacist in the house?"

What did the dentist say to the computer?
→ This won't hurt a byte

- I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dentist?

- That's right, Sir.

- So how come I saw you coming out of the movie theatre with a friend?

- That was my dentist.

Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill blonde appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself to the hospital and barely managing to stagger in from the parking lot.

The horrified nurse said, "Why didn't you call the 911 number and get an ambulance?"

The lady replied, "My phone doesn't have an eleven!"

What is a drill team?
→ A group of dentists who work together.

- Patient: Hey, that tooth you pulled wasn't the one I wanted pulled.

- Dentist: Relax, I'm coming to it.